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The William

Part of my perpetrator father’s narcissistic abuse is chronic brainwashing. One of them, he said, all the time was that I was stupid and intellectually inferior. He continued to say so even though I was very accomplished academically. Fast forward 26 years, I was pursuing a Ph.D. degree at Caltech.

 

My boyfriend who later became my husband, found it absurd that I could allow this falsehood. He vigorously challenged the lie until one day, I no longer felt stupid. Unlike my father, Bill was not afraid that I would leave him should I discover how talented I am. He did not think of whether how this will benefit him or not. He heard a falsehood and had to set it straight. This was how I ended a generational trauma: I left a narcissist for someone who has capabilities to care for others, will stand up against lies, and will not give up debating until truth is won.

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